Every evening ended on the same sofa.
« At least allow me to finish the question next time. »
***
Three weeks before our fifth wedding anniversary, I decided that Matthew deserved something special.
He had mentioned a watch months earlier while we were wandering around a jewelry store downtown.
He hadn’t bought it.
I calmly memorized the model.
After weeks of saving, I finally ordered it.
The store called on a Monday morning.
After weeks of saving, I finally ordered it.
I told Matthew I had an important meeting after lunch.
Instead, I used a day off work.
As I walked through the city, I couldn’t stop smiling.
The small black gift bag was resting on the passenger seat during the return journey.
I imagined his face when he opened it.
Maybe he would tease me for spending too much.
Maybe he would kiss me before thanking me.
I imagined his face when he opened it.
I parked in the driveway just after two hours.
Matthew’s car was there.
Odd.
He usually didn’t finish his work until five o’clock.
I unlocked the front door as gently as possible.
Then I heard my name.
My hand froze on the button.
I heard my name.
Matthew was standing in the living room, talking on the phone.
“…don’t worry.” He chuckled softly. “She fell right into my trap in high school.”
Every muscle in my body is locked.
Then he spoke again.
The smile disappeared.
« I’ve been working on this since we were teenagers, » he added.
The gift bag slipped against my leg.
« She walked right into my trap in high school. »
My fingers tightened until the paper grips dug painfully into my skin.
Who was he talking to?
What trap?
Why did this involve me?
Silence stretched between his sentences.
Then his voice became calmer.
“I kept everything.”
A shiver ran through my body.
All ?
“I kept everything.”
I moved closer without thinking.
The hardwood floor creaked.
I stopped breathing.
Matthew didn’t notice.
He continued pacing back and forth.
« Honestly, I wasn’t sure she’d ever believe she could do it. »
My stomach twisted.
Where to do it?
« Honestly, I wasn’t sure she’d ever believe she could do it. »
He chuckled.
« No… no, she still doesn’t know. »
Blood was flowing noisily into my ears.
I wanted to burst into the room.
I wanted to demand answers.
Instead, I stayed hidden.
Fear rooted me to the spot.
« No… no, she still doesn’t know. »
His next sentence broke something inside me.
« If she had understood that sooner, everything would have collapsed. »
My heart raced.
What had he been hiding?
I leaned forward, desperate to hear more.
Then he said the words that made me stumble towards the front door.
« My plan is about to work. »
His steps stopped.
« My plan is about to work. »
I’ve never heard the rest.
I couldn’t.
Panic swallowed up all rational thought.
I rushed outside before he could see me.
By the time I reached my car, tears had blurred the windshield.
I sat there trembling so violently that I couldn’t put the key in the ignition.
I’ve never heard the rest.
A life.
Our entire relationship.
Every birthday.
Every birthday.
Every promise.
What if none of this had been real?
I drove aimlessly for almost an hour before parking by a calm lake.
The wind shook the bare trees.
What if none of this had been real?
My phone buzzed.
Matthew.
I let it ring.
A text appeared.
Where are you? I thought I heard your car a while ago. Are you okay?
Another message arrived less than a minute later.
Ashley? You’re scaring me.
I watched the screen until it went dark.
Ashley? You’re scaring me.
Then another memory surfaced.
First year of university.
I had filled out an application for a prestigious summer program.
I spent three days trying to convince myself not to submit it.
Finally, I crumpled up the paperwork and threw it into my backpack.
A week later, I received an acceptance email.
I remembered crying tears of happiness.
I spent three days trying to convince myself not to submit it.
I told everyone I couldn’t believe I had actually sent it.
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