ook at my desk.
If someone complimented me, I assumed they were just being nice.
My father loved me more than anything, but he used to save me before I had a chance to fight.
If I hesitated over a decision, he would make it for me.
If I doubted myself, he would rush to provide the answer.
I wasn’t that fearless.
Everyone called it love.
Finally, I called it proof.
Proof that the others trusted each other more than they trusted me.
Then I became almost good.
I almost ran for student council.
I almost auditioned for the school play.
I almost applied to the college I secretly wanted to go to.
Matthew was the only person who had noticed this pattern.
Everyone called it love.
« You always stop just before something good happens, » he told me one afternoon in second grade.
I laughed.
« You don’t know what you’re talking about. »
He just smiled.
« One day, you’ll realize that’s true. »
In high school, everyone expected us to end up together.
They were right.
« One day, you’ll realize that’s true. »
***
One Friday evening, after football practice, Matthew walked me back under the streetlights.
« I acted as if we were just friends, » he admitted.
« Me too, » I murmured.
He kissed me before I could lose my composure.
University has only made us stronger.
The day we graduated, he got down on his knees in front of the small restaurant where we had spent years studying together.
“I don’t want to imagine another chapter without you,” he said. “Do you want to…”
« I acted as if we were just friends. »
« Yes, » I replied before he had even finished asking.
He was laughing.
« At least allow me to finish the question next time. »
Five years later, we owned a comfortable house just three blocks from where we had grown up.
Every morning began with a coffee together.
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